Families and families

I've neglected again. I only lasted a week at the horse place. It was very stressful throughout the experience and the relief (and disappointment) was felt on both sides. I made mistakes, the boss got stressed out, I got scared. She nailed an analogy: It was like walking into an exam, nervous of making mistakes and therefore making them.

What I dwell on most is this: When I was thrown off a 170 cm (17 hand) horse onto a gravel road, she never once asked me if I was ok, whether I had hurt myself (I had a headache, rashes down my back, bruises on my side, and a sore knee). She probably thought about the horse, her own splitting headache, caused by stress, and how incompetent I was.

Sometimes it seemed to me that she couldn’t say things politely. I had to ask twice what I should do with a bored 3-year-old stallion, before she would stop accusing me and instruct me instead (and even then it was only after “No, don’t blame him!” when I never was blaming him).

She was a hard one to figure out. On the other hand, she offered me alternatives to make me feel more comfortable; but then she also insulted me by stopping just short of calling me a liar. She exaggerated and refused to be corrected, I don't think she could ever "forgive and forget". A quote from Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy would describe her: “My good opinion once lost is lost forever.”

It was a horrible week, and my only two consolations are these: it was a learning experience and I found a safe haven afterwards.

I was saved by the angel-neighbour with three kids, aged 2-6, who was driving past when the horse panicked. She stopped to help me with the horse, so I went to thank her in the evening. She was lovely, and offered to take me in. So I moved over as soon as convenient. She has another helper too, a Corean girl. It's nice to have company. Two of the children have chicken pox, the young one is grumpy and the old one is happy not to have to go to school. The middle one has been in a happy daze for most of the week, because she turned four on Monday and had a fantastic Mad hatters' birthday party on Sunday (I arrived on Saturday, in perfect time to help with decoration!). Their mum could be another woman to add to my idols list.

The party was - as I said - brilliant. Cousins and aunts and uncles arrived the night before, and they actually made me slightly home-sick! They were such good fun I began to miss my own family. I never thought I'd say this, but it will be good to be back. I love New Zealand, but there are no people like family. At least in my family!